As you probably already know I'm reading "Staying Strong 365 Days A Year" and not just that but I'm also trying to fulfill the every day goal on my way to a better and healthier life.
The first few days were quite interesting as I really felt way better.
The January 1st goal was to find a mantra. So I sat down and considered what I'd really need to tell myself every day over and over again and I came up with my own personal mantra:
"Being the way that you are is enough. There's nothing wrong with who you are."
This mantra means quite a lot to me and it pretty perfectly describes what I need because of my story so far.
As the January 4th goal is to be open about something you're always trying to push away I'm doing exactly that right now. But as I'm still very sensitive about what I'll tell you now I'll only let it stay online for today. So if you're curious keep on reading.
I've always tried to please everyone. I wanted everyone to like me because I didn't want to get in trouble. At the same time I'm a very open-hearted person who is upset quite easy and questioning everything whenever critisized.
Now I have started working in a different state so I don't get to see my old friends that often. I'm fine with that.. I thought.. But lately I'm feeling quite lonely because at work there are only few people who are my age and I'm living in a city that is half an hour away. My flat mates are both students who are always out and about so I'm very often sitting in my room all alone as I don't know anyone in the city I live in.
That makes me think about life and what I want to achieve, where I want to be in a few years, what I want from lifeand being lonely and not being able to get a boyfriend in 5 years. It's all quite embarrassing and that's why I don't like talking about it and feel like it's all my fault because I'm maybe a weird person or simply not attractive to anyone.
Now I'm trying to get back to positive thinking about that through my mantra and Demi's book.
At least this gives me some support and strength that I'm needing now more than ever as I'm alone waay too often..
"This is a story that I've never told."
But I hope it gives you a little insight and you don't consider me a total loser.
Welcome to the club. Sit back, drink a cup of tea and enjoy what comes out of my crazy little head :D